


Between a Rock and a Hard Place

by ahundredgyozas



Series: It Takes a Village [1]
Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Boys Being Boys, Brotherhood, Canon Compliant, Canon Era, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-23
Updated: 2015-07-23
Packaged: 2018-04-10 19:43:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,088
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4404959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ahundredgyozas/pseuds/ahundredgyozas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This has gotta be a breach of some sort of bro code, Tatsuya.</p>
<p>Prequel to <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/5704474">this</a> but may be read as a standalone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Between a Rock and a Hard Place

**Author's Note:**

> alternate title - himuro doesn't deserve any of this, my poor boy.
> 
> note - i wasn't intending to write more fanfic but i was requested to write something and sort of ran away with that idea. [DragonKingEsmeralda](http://archiveofourown.org/users/DragonKingEsmeralda/pseuds/DragonKingEsmeralda) this isn't really what you asked for but i hope you like! 
> 
> warning - still on my training wheels in fiction writing. read at your own risk!

It is a warm Saturday afternoon, warm enough that most people in their right minds would be sheltering indoors with the air-conditioner turned on at full blast.

Tatsuya considers himself one of those people in their right minds.

Yet, he _isn't_ indoors with the air-conditioner turned on at full blast.

Instead, he's currently leaning against the main door of Taiga's apartment block, tapping his foot impatiently.

Tatsuya sighs.

He looks at his phone, looks at his watch, and looks at his phone again.

No messages from Taiga.

Tatsuya isn't an impatient man by nature, but this is getting too far. He has been standing outside Taiga's apartment for the past one hour, waiting for Taiga to pick him up. Taiga had been the one to invite Tatsuya down from Akita to spend a couple of days with him. So why is that idiot not picking up his phone _now_ , when Tatsuya had specifically mentioned (multiple times) that he would reach Taiga's apartment at noon.

It is rather strange, though, Tatsuya muses. Taiga isn't the kind who would break his promises so easily. Maybe some things have indeed changed since their childhood.

Not that it matters now, anyway, he concludes crossly, checking his phone once again for good measure. It hasn't vibrated yet, but hey, a man can dream, right?

Still no messages from Taiga.

Well, so much for dreaming.

Sighing again, Tatsuya rests his head against the wall and closes his eyes. He knows he's attractive, if his legion of admirers are of any indication, so maybe he should take a leaf out of Alex's book and try to seduce the landlady -

" - whining, you idiot! Be thankful that I'm actually letting you into my house!"

Tatsuya sighs. For what has to be the forty-third time that hour, not that he's counting.

So Taiga wasn't even at home. And apparently, evidently, _obviously_ , Taiga didn't just stand his own brother up, but had done so in favour of -

"Hah? You're the one who made me come with you in the first place!"

"As if I would send you home bleeding to death like this! Momoi would kill me!"

Tatsuya sighs, again. He should have known.

Besides basketball, only one other thing - person - has been able to capture Taiga's full attention so successfully. Tatsuya's been to enough streetball games with the other teams to be able to make that rather valid deduction.

"Please, like you're good enough to send me anywhere. You can't even send the ball to the hoop properly."

"What was that, you bastard? I'll show you -"

From just round the bend, Taiga and Aomine appear into view as they walk down the street leading up to Taiga's apartment. They are, as usual, bickering away, not that Tatsuya can't already hear them doing so previously.

Tatsuya squints a little. From what he can see, Aomine's only nursing a small wound on his elbow. Trust Taiga to be such a worrywart.

"Just shut up already. Your yelling is making everything worse."

"Oh yeah? Well your - Tatsuya! What are you doing here?"

_Why, how nice of you to finally notice my presence, Taiga_ , is what Tatsuya wants to say, but he doesn't. Someone has to be the better man around here, even if that person has just been stood up by _his own brother_. So Tatsuya hides behind his usual poker face, and tries for a placid smile.

Keyword being - tries. It isn't his fault if it comes out more like a grimace. Tatsuya's only human, after all.

"Taiga. I believe I was supposed to spend the weekend with you? I did tell you that I would be here around noon, didn’t I?"

At least Taiga has the decency to look sheepish. "Ah, sorry Tatsuya… I was out getting groceries to make us lunch, and then I bumped into Aomine, and we… ended up playing basketball."

Tatsuya just gazes at him in mild exasperation.

Of course they ended up playing basketball. Of course.

Meanwhile, Aomine is looking at him through narrowed eyes. "Well… don't wanna intrude, so I'm just gonna head home," he drawls, turning away.

Aomine only manages to take a few steps before Taiga clamps a hand on his shoulder roughly.

"Will you stop being so stubborn and get that wound cleaned up before you go?"

Growling in frustration, Aomine whips his head back to glare at Taiga. Red eyes clash with blue for what seems like it will be an eternity.

It may very well last an eternity, but Tatsuya can already feel a headache coming and he doesn't want to risk it. So since neither party seem willing to yield from that sudden staring contest, Tatsuya has no choice but to intervene. Then again, having dealt with Taiga and now Atsushi, Tatsuya can safely say that he is fully qualified to take care of immature children.

"Let's just go up first and then talk, shall we? It's much cooler there," he interjects calmly, placing a hand on both boys' shoulders.

If they choose to ignore that steely glint in his visible eye promising death and dismemberment to the one who disobeys him, well.

Tatsuya didn't grow up in LA and not learn a few tricks, after all.

\---

Unlike Taiga, who had to learn how to cook due to his absent parents, Tatsuya has always loved cooking. He can't really explain why, but it's probably because cooking, and baking by extension, is methodological - at least to him. In a way, Tatsuya's approach in the kitchen reflects his style of basketball, precise and efficient, with not a movement wasted.

Right now, though, Tatsuya isn't in the kitchen because of his love for cooking. Rather, it had been a choice between either busying himself in the kitchen or remaining in Taiga's living room, but since the two boys have once again resumed their staring competition there, Tatsuya doesn't want to be caught in the crossfire. He shudders slightly at the mutinous aura permeating the air, and wonders not for the first time if Taiga realises that he's hanging out with Aomine too much to render any of his constant claims that he hates the other's guts believable.

Well, Tatsuya knows why these two idiots are constantly, inexplicably, _perpetually_ drawn to each other, even if they both don't realise it themselves.

Tatsuya sighs, staring at the pot of boiling water.

At least Aomine had let Tatsuya clean his wound.

Not after yet another argument brought about by Aomine's insistence that if he might end up dying if he let Taiga do it, but Tatsuya knows now to celebrate any small victories he can get.

\---

They end up sitting around Taiga's coffee table, having cold noodles for lunch. The air-conditioner is turned on and at full blast, but Tatsuya thinks that the tension radiating from the two is enough to negate any effect both the air-conditioner and the cold noodles have on the temperature.

"Taiga, have you thought about what we can do this afternoon?" He queries mildly, in an attempt to break the silence.

"Er… Not really. I was thinking we could just... play basketball?" Taiga replies through a mouthful of noodles, glancing at Tatsuya with brows furrowed in contemplation.

Aomine snorts.

"Seriously. Do you only have basketball on your brain?"

"I don't want to hear that from you, you bastard - "

"Hah? Please. Unlike you, I…"

Tatsuya never finds out how exactly Aomine is unlike Taiga, opting instead to tune out their squabbling. He knows actual couples who aren't as obsessed with each other as these two are, but of course, Taiga and Aomine aren't exactly conventional people, in any sense of the word.

"Basketball sounds fine, Taiga," interrupts Tatsuya. In an effort to be polite, he then turns to Aomine, flashing him a small smile. "Aomine, you're welcome to join us, if you'd like."

It is hard to tell who is more stunned at Tatsuya's sudden invitation.

"Hah? Tatsuya, why'd you invite him?" Taiga stares at him in disbelief, evidently feeling betrayed by his elder brother.

Tatsuya smiles imperceptibly.

"Shut up Kagami, it's not like I planned on staying on, anyway!"

That's what they both say, but Tatsuya knows better.

He's used basketball as bait more than enough times on Taiga to be able to vouch for its success on Aomine. After all, he has it on good authority (Atsushi, who had apparently heard it from Kise from Kaijou, who had apparently heard it from Taiga's teammate Kuroko) that the two are eerily similar.

\---

Three hours and countless arguments later, though, Tatsuya has had enough of trying to get them to get along. He's already wasted too many hours of his precious Saturday playing babysitter to two idiots with no sense of awareness, both of themselves, and of their surroundings.

So, as Taiga's dearly beloved brother, Tatsuya decides that it is time to do something brotherly.

Take revenge on Taiga for dragging him into this mess, of course.

"So Taiga, Aomine, how long have you been dating?" Tatsuya comments, with exaggerated nonchalance.

He hadn't intended to go down this route in helping them become friends, but then again, a man can only take so much before snapping.

That question, predictably, has the effect of shutting both boys up. Wrenching their eyes off each other, they both turn to stare at Tatsuya in shock.

\---

As expected, Taiga is the first to recover.

"D-dating? What the hell are you saying Tatsuya?"

Tatsuya feigns surprise. It just has the effect of making his already poker face look more passive than usual.

"Aren't you? You looked so concerned over his injury when you both came back, so I thought - "

"Well, you thought wrong! I… just… couldn't leave him to bleed there, could I?"

"Hey! I didn't need your help - " interjects Aomine, having recovered from his shell-shocked state.

Tatsuya really doesn't want this to devolve into another argument, and so he raises his voice, glaring them into silence with his one visible eye.

"Also, I hear from Atsushi that you play basketball with Aomine on a regular basis - "

"Tatsuya - "

" - and that you cook for Aomine - "

"I don't - "

" - and I've seen it with my own eyes that you constantly seek him out whenever all the schools hang out together for streetball," Tatsuya ploughs on resolutely, hell-bent on making sure that he isn't going to be interrupted for once.

He feels a slightly sadistic sense of satisfaction when he sees Taiga get progressively redder with every declaration, infinitely glad that it isn't reflected on his poker face.

"… I do it because..." shouts Taiga, evidently flustered, cheeks now the colour of his hair.

It's not that he's inherently evil and wants to see Taiga suffer, Tatsuya justifies to himself. It's just his way of expressing his brotherly love.

"... because..."

Both Tatsuya and Aomine wait in expectation, more so Tatsuya than Aomine. How is Taiga going to dig himself out of this grave, Tatsuya idly wonders, but decides that, as is characteristic of elder brothers, he doesn't really care.

"... because I like his basketball!"

An unnatural silence falls over the room.

Tatsuya stares at Taiga in mild disapproval.

Of course, Taiga would use that as a pick-up line. Of course.

"… Ah no, I mean - " Taiga tries to retract his statement, evidently having realised what he had just (not) confessed.

"… You… like my basketball?" Aomine stares at Taiga through narrowed eyes, but Tatsuya notices an unexpected hint of confusion in their navy blue depths.

He fights back an urge to roll his eyes.

Of course, Aomine would treat that as a confession. Of course.

"Shut up! I wasn't trying to say that I like your basketball! I meant I like playing basketball with… with…"

Taiga stutters to a halt.

One sentence too late, Tatsuya thinks.

Then again, Taiga has never been one to process his words before voicing them out loud.

"… You… like playing basketball with… me?"

Well, in any case, Tatsuya's job here is done. He may be Taiga's sworn elder brother, but brothers let brothers fight their own battles. At least, that's what Tatsuya tells himself.

Not that he can interject even if he wanted to, anyway.

After all, the two do have a tendency to tune out everyone else whenever they are in each other's presence.

"NO! I didn't even say that!"

"Then what were you going to say?!"

Smiling to himself, Tatsuya stands up quietly and beats a hasty retreat to Taiga's room.

"I… was going to say… that… I… ARGH I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS -"

Maybe Taiga has a few new magazines he can look at.

**Author's Note:**

> gosh i love writing kagami and aomine arguing. or maybe i just like writing stupid arguments. who knows. 
> 
> also, i love the kagahimu broship.


End file.
